once in a lifetime love.

 

[not my image]

 

I used to say that I didn't believe in love, or at least true love. How could I when every single marriage on both sides of my family has failed? My parents are the first lasting marriage in generations. My aunt has been married four times. My uncle just got divorced for the second time. My dad's sister has been divorced twice. My grandma can't speak about my grandfather without saying very nasty things about him. My grandpa admits that he was foolish and shouldn't have gotten married at nineteen.

And so I didn't believe that love could really exist. I thought that it was for fairytales and children. I swore never to get married or attached to anyone because I didn't believe that it could actually be real and last for a lifetime. I'm still like that a little bit.

I always loved songs about love. Sometimes the ones about the heartbreakingly painful love that could not be [forever and always - parachute]. Or the love that was forbidden, but somehow the two young lovers overcome the odds and are together again [love story - taylor swift...bad example, I know, but it was the only thing I could think of]. I don't know why I love those songs to much. Maybe my heart yearns to be whole and loved and bursting with love for another. Maybe, just maybe, the songs are calling to me and telling me to let go of my doubts and just love recklessly.

I suppose I'm learning though, that love isn't just the passion and adoration of a young couple. It's the quiet holding of hands of an elderly couple and the sneaking glances of teenagers who foolishly believe that they can take on the world if they have that one person by their side. It comes unexpectedly and, if nurtured correctly, can last a lifetime.

I don't know if I believe in soulmates; those two people who just belong together, matched up by fate, and blissfully in love. It seems a little farfetched to me, but who knows? Maybe there are soulmates, destined to be together forever.

I do believe in once in a lifetime love. Maybe someday it will happen to me. Maybe I'll regret ever saying that I don't believe in love. Maybe. But for now, I'll wait quietly and be my own knight in shining armor and slay dragons whilst I wait.

edit: I'm a little bit worried about posting this. maybe because it's so personal. I'm leaving comments open, but don't feel as though you need to persuade me that love is real. I'll get there on my own, when I'm ready.